Truth is so much stranger than fiction. V's Version is an unabashedly personal blog from my perspective as a formerly-blind quilter, a feminist home-schooling mother, a powerhouse cancer fighter for 5 years running and an avid journal writer since 1974. If you can handle that, my friends, read on!
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
. . . . V's Version Has Moved !
I hope you'll come visit my new web site by clicking alotoflife.com
or copy and paste www.alotoflife.com into the web browser !
Please bookmark the new site for the future. Sorry for the inconvenience. . . . . . . .
I am just feeling vulnerable and tired and somewhat defeated. Well - not defeated - but kicked down. I cannot tell you how disappointed I was to get the news yesterday. I have battled cancer and PNP and pneumonia and sinus infections, strange rashes, corneal damage, headaches, pulmonary problems and various other infections. I have been so sick for so long. There are some periods of glorious remission and of laughter and fun and going about business as usual but I am never (in my own thoughts) far from the reality of struggle.
I mourn the ease of taking a nap, the simple joy of smelling the forest, the ability to cry tears. I mourn the taste of chocolate and sweet potatoes and the smell of coffee and oranges. I wish I could forget pain for a day - for an hour - for 15 minutes. I wish I could live a life without a bottle around my neck, without having to carry my medical cards with me everywhere - just in case. I wish I didn't know the first names of each of my eight specialists and surgeons and that they didn't know mine. I wish the Cinderella story had ended in Hawaii in 2006 with "..and they lived happily ever after."
OK - I suppose that last one is mostly true. But any married person knows that the word "happily" must, by definition, include "happy to make it through some of the rough times" right along with the joy and contentment that the fairy tales promised.
I wish my health struggle / saga was tidy. Done. Wrapped up. Easy. People who knew about or find out about the cancer often steer the story with the question, "But it's all in remission, now, right?" You have no idea how often I hear that. Everyone wants a happily ever after. And, yes, technically, that's true. I am very lucky and grateful to have a cancer that responds well to chemo and can easily be detected so that all I have to do is hit it with some chemo and it goes away again. I'm good on that front. If only that was all there was to deal with.
I distract myself with communication and service. That's how I deal. In addition to trying my best to be a good mother and wife, I do my part at church and I am trying also to be a good citizen. I am currently addicted to change.gov where I check for daily updated posts and videos on the transition to an Obama presidency. I am fascinated by the transparency. We really do hold the world in our hands. I'm glad to be able to see it so clearly.
Meanwhile, the interactive live piracy map shows that my father's ship is threading through an area that has seen over 50 pirate attacks in recent weeks - most notably the one yesterday that was worth $100 million in oil. The desperate pirates are getting more bold and are taking on bigger and bigger ships. As the world gets smaller and more transparent, the things to worry about are easier to see.
And speaking of transparency - so many of you have told me how much you appreciate mine. I want to thank you for hanging in there with me. I want to thank you for the well wishes and the prayers and the kind words. I want to thank you who come here for the first time for reaching out. I am not always so good at getting back to people but your efforts do not go unnoticed.
Our new administration asked us to tell our stories on Change.gov - so I did. You can too.
Welcome and Congratulations President Obama and Vice President Biden. Along with the majority of Americans, I am relieved and proud and grateful that you are on your way to Washington.
I am one of the only known survivors of a rare skin-blistering disease with underlying cancer so I know a little bit about over-coming adversity and how it inspires people and what pressure it is to be that inspiration. I also know what it is like to wage a massive financial campaign (as one of my medicines - gamma globulin - is $10,000 a day.)
I was telling my father (a life-long seaman currently serving on the USNS Laramie) about how we all campaigned here at home. My wife and son and I in California making calls in Colorado and New Mexico, my cousin in Chicago, an aunt who drove from Maine to Pennsylvania and my cousins in Atlanta. They were little brown boys going door to door to register people to vote with their mother. The youngest one didn't always get it right and said, "Have you registered for Obama?"
That little cousin's grandfather (my uncle Billy) was the Best Man at John & Cindy McCain's wedding and I am betting that maybe even he voted for you - being a progressive Republican.
We all share in your - our - victory.
You have such a road ahead of you and we promise to help in what ever ways we can to make this a better country. We see the big picture and what is at stake. We know that there must be priorities. So when I tell you the following vision, I realize that it is only part of the whole picture.
My wife, Dani and I want the following agenda to become a reality in our lifetimes. And if not in ours, then in our son's. We are urging you to do what ever you can possibly do to help us in this effort. Please remember the words of Abraham Lincoln:
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves."
And, to paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by those who perpetrate it but the silence over that by the people who don't."
You may count on me to be part of your agenda for our country and it is with great sincerity and hope that I ask you to be a part of ours.
With the greatest admiration and gratitude for your service,
V Kingsley and Danielle Hope
The Real Gay Agenda:
1. Freedom from discrimination in housing and employment in all 50 states.
2. The right to visit our partners in the hospital and to take family leave.
3. The right of gay youth to grow up free from intimidation, bullying and violence.
4. The right to serve openly and proudly in the United States military.
5. The right to obtain health care benefits, pensions and Social Security through our partners and spouses
6. The right not to lose custody of our children merely because we are gay and the right to adopt.
7. Immigration rights for foreign partners and spouses of gay Americans.
8. Inheritance rights for our partners and spouses.
9. The right to marry.
10. Equality and respect for all individuals and their families.
(This list was compiled by two married lesbians in West Hollywood, CA who give permission to reprint in it's entirety for the purposes of furthering this agenda.)
It was, as many of you know, my birthday today. I would have to check my diaries to be sure - but I think it was the saddest birthday I have ever had. Not for lack of love or attention or well-wishes though. People - and my family especially - are incredibly generous and kind. But toxic sadness doesn't always make sense and is just too much to crawl from under even if it is my birthday. I ran on adreniline and pain meds and distraction and giving after the surgery and I just hit a wall today. I am in wicked pain. I cannot smell or taste. I guess it is to be expected but added to the blindness factor -it's a little much to take and makes me cry without warning yet I cannot make tears no matter how hard I cry. Incredibly frustrating. I had a personal disappointment that took me by surprise today and I am deeply troubled by the passing of Proposition 8 and how the fall-out is playing people against each other.
I also had a technical set-back on my new web site this morning. That was just frustrating and disappointing after all the hours of work I have put into the project. The combination of all those things was too much to overcome. It's not really a big deal in the big picture. I know that.
In the big picture - my world is easy. I am lucky. I have a family who loves me and friends who are a splendid reflection of my best self. Many friends and family wrote or called or sent a card. Dani spoiled me in little ways today, Pk made me a cake, I was able to speak with both my sisters and my father (who is on a US Merchant ship that was one of several ships involved with Somali pirates in the last two days! The Filipino hostages - thankfully - were freed today.)
It's not like I am blind all the time and if I want tears, I can just pour them in from a bottle. The pain will eventually go away and I might get back my sense of taste and smell. Things could be a LOT worse! My life is easy and safe and my problems are the problems anyone might want to have. Even though I know this with all my heart, I spent the better part of the day talking like Eyore and crying pitifully and uncontrollably. Gratitude is a very good antidote for depression but I guess it doesn't always clear it up on contact.
Here is my Dad's ship. He is in a rough part of the world and I worry for him - even if he is on one of the safest vessels. It's a crazy world.
My Dad is a baker on the seas with pirates. Wish him luck.
President Barack Obama: What a night. What a moment in history.
Equal Rights for All: Gone.
To paraphrase Martin Luther King Jr:
"The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by those who perpetrate it but the silence over that by the people who don't."
I woke up this morning and sobbed. My chest racked with sobs as I realized the enormity of the hypocrisy that happened in voting booths yesterday in California. Even though we celebrated with throngs of people last night in a victory of epic proportions, this morning held a different story. Dani and I held each other in bed, crying and mourning the reality that people who were inspired by and truly seemed to believe the phrase, "Yes we can!" voted in stunning numbers to say, "No you can't!" They banned the right to marry by passing Proposition 8. That right had already been decided by the state supreme court and people voted to eliminate it - thereby singling out one group of people for unequal treatment.
Both races show us that money can - and does - change the course of an election. I'm grateful for all the $5 and $50 donations to Barack Obama's campaign and I am so sad that the Mormons just had more money to spend in California than we did. Liberal and fair-minded people believed the negative and deceptive ads bought by the Mormons and the Catholics. California Democrats were busy and energized (and somewhat distracted toward) the Obama campaign and just didn't focus forces to get information out to people about Proposition 8. I am one of those people and I am not proud of it.
My great elation and hope at a new President and a Democratic majority in the Senate is marred by deep sadness for a battle that appears to be lost - a battle that will have terrible consequences in the years to come for equal rights under the law for all people.
The best article that reflects my sentiments so far is here. I am sure there will be further analysis. I can only hope that we will be able to challenge this proposition in court - not only for the sake of equality for all but also for our democracy itself. Believe me - if the emancipation proclamation or Brown vs. the Board of Education or any of the dozens of Supreme court cases that ultimately lead to equal rights for people of color had been put up to a popular vote just after each decision was made, we would not have elected Mr. Barack Obama last night.
"Equal rights for all, special privileges for none. " - Thomas Jefferson
I personally blame myself for the loss of this battle. There was so much more I could have done. I should have written this letter and sent it three days ago. I regret that I didn't. Our house was egged, our car was egged, dozens of our "No on Prop 8" signs were stolen or defaced - from our own yard. During the course of this campaign, I was booed and given the finger on many occasions. I was called "sick" and "wrong", "faggot" and dyke" (2 out of 4- not bad). One woman told me that I might as well be allowed to marry a horse. People gave me many thumbs down, they waved their "Yes on 8" bumper stickers out of their car window in traffic. They hung up on me and they told me that they were afraid that gayness was going to become part of the school curriculum. I knew it was going to be close. And I wish I had done more. I wish you had done more.
My only hope is that we might be entering an age of possibility. We might be able, as a nation, to see that none of us is free until we all are free. I don't care if you call it marriage or civil union or domestic partnership, I have a dream that one day we will be able to become a family, not based on the gender of the person we love but on the commitment we share. When we can all have hospital visitation rights, when we can all easily commit our love and change our family names, when we can be covered as a family on insurance policies, when we can all share the responsibilities of parenthood and home ownership and social security benefits without having to jump through expensive legal hoops available to only some, then - and only then - will we be truly be free at last, free at last - thank the spirit of a people - free at last.
Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves. ~Abraham Lincoln
We want everyone to vote - no matter how long it takes. Even if you think you know who is going to win - get out and vote! This election could be (I hope WILL be) the mandate our elected officials need to hear the will of the people. Dani and I have just come home from phone bank campaigning for Obama in Colorado. (I have to say that I really didn't want to go. I was cranky and it was pouring rain and I was blowing blood out of my nose. I wanted to stay in bed. Luckily - Dani dragged me out and we got to participate in democracy.)
There are people who are being turned away from the polls there after waiting in line to vote EARLY. I don't say this to scare folks or to keep people away from their polling places. I am just saying that we should all be prepared to wait a little bit (or a lot) on Tuesday. We should try to get to the polls as early as possible. Know your state's voter laws and give your employer notice TODAY if you think it will take you exta time to vote.
Here is the California law (as an example) but every state is different.
CALIFORNIA
Time: Employees must be given sufficient time off to enable them to vote at either the beginning or end of the shift, unless otherwise agreed upon by the employer and employee. Employees must make an application for time off at least two work days before the election if they know or should have known that extra time would be needed. Employers must post a conspicuous notice of any statewide election, along with a list of employee's rights and duties, at least ten days before the election.
Pay: Employers are required to pay employees normal wages for the time off for up to two hours.
Penalty: An employer who does not comply with California law may be fined an amount not exceeding $1,000 or face imprisonment for sixteen months or two to three years.
Get out the word. Pass this message along to friends.
1984 Election - Jesse Jackson in the primaries, Mondale / Ferrarro in election 1988 Election - Jesse Jackson in the primaries, Dukakis / Bensten in election 1992 Election - Jerry Brown in the primaries, Clinton / Gore in election 1996 Election - Clinton / Gore in both primary and election (worked for the campaign) 2000 Election - Nader in primary and Gore / Lieberman in election 2004 Election - Edwards in primary and Kerry / Edwards in election 2008 Election - Clinton in primary and Obama / Biden in election
A flyer to give to the neighbors (above) and A letter I just wrote (below)
Thanks, Dad. I am pretty miserable. I'm still bleeding and changing the dressing frequently. Yuck. Very painful. Very uncomfortable.
I'm trying to cheer myself up and keep myself occupied even though I am in pain. I'm holding off on the pain meds this morning in hopes that I can take Parker out to get his Halloween costume. I wouldn't want to drive on those meds! They make me sick anyway so it's a toss up: pain or sick. Whatever. Maybe I'll feel up for making Rice Krispie skulls and decorating an altar to the Beloved Dead this afternoon.
Your hot and sticky seas seem so far away from Felton where the days are getting shorter and the sun doesn't get above the tall tree tops any more. I try to picture where you are (the African coast is so big!) I wish I had a map that could locate you. That wouldn't be so good for security now would it?
I'm including a flyer that I am printing up to give out to our neighbors. The Mormon church has put so much money into the Yes campaign and it's demoralizing. I have had to have several conversations with Parker about ethics. He wants to take down their "Yes on 8" signs - but I don't think it's a good idea. It's not fair that someone takes down our signs and I can see the attraction to retaliation. But I still have to do what is right - and that means passing their signs by without malice and just trying to get the word out about how I want to oppose the proposition.
It's a tricky line we walk with politics and religion.
Keep on keepin on and thanks for the words of encouragement - V
Sometimes the pain must get worse before it gets better. Pain level 8.
Ouch.
But now I am on the mend - Thanks, Dr. Lewis!
I am stoked that Julie Wolf recommended me to Ear, Nose, Throat (ENT) Dr. William B. Lewis in Oakland, CA. Not only is he a competent ENT who is up on the latest technology but it's been fun to talk politics with him too! I just wrote a review calling him a High Tech ENT with old-school charm. It's a rare combination in a doctor - and he deserves to have that bedside manner rewarded!
He was so kind to me and to Dani before and after the surgery. He took the time to explain everything that was going to happen and to answer any questions. In this fast-paced world of go-go doctors, Dr. Lewis is good for the body and the soul.
(in both the new and old-school meanings of the word.)
So do you want to know what I am listening to? "Feed the Animals"! It's the high octane dance computer mashup plunderphonics of Gregg Gillis' (aka Girl Talk). (Free or pay what you want download here.) There is very little of Gregg's own music on this album. It is a mash up of hip hop, 70s and 80s soft rock, club, grunge, metal and dance music. If you have been listening to pop music any time in the last 30 years - you will definitely recognize bits of songs. It takes piracy to a whole new level and I have to say that I love it. Even though I could not walk up a small hill this morning without coughing up gunk - this music makes me want to dance until I faint. It also makes me want to sit with a bunch of people and talk about ethics and art.
When you are sick - do you ever do something completely opposite from what a sick person would do? I do. Sometimes I put on make up or dress in bright colors. Last weekend, I worked with teenagers and did a ropes course where I climbed up 30 feet and traversed a shaky "Indiana Jones"- style bridge with missing slats. Sometimes I go to a party just to get high off other people's energy. That's what this music is. I could do without the sexist language in some of the lyrics but I have to hand it to this guy - these tracks are FUN! He took two years to plunder other people's music and mix them into totally smooth and fun dance tracks. I can only imagine what it would be like to experience this live!
"Meet the Flowers" 2008, 30" x 36" Photo by Gregory Case
Finally.
If only it were possible to show the high resolution image of this quilt on this blog or to visit a certain happy couple in Minnesota who might be willing to let you take a peek! It would be so nice for you to actually see the quilt itself! Good news! "Meet the Flowers" will be shown in California in 2009 at Pajaro Valley Quilt Guild's 31st Annual Quilt Show. And I promise to get the image up on the quilt gallery of alotoflife.com soon. (Don't hold your breath because my upcoming surgery is this Friday!)
Joe the Plumber - as it turns out - is actually richer than the average plumber AND the average small business owner. $250,000 a year (or more) is NOT middle class. Not in my book.
I've had to deal with quite a few plumbers in my life. My neighbor Chris is a plumber. His wallet (and mine and probably yours) will be smaller with McCain as President. Those same wallets will be larger if Obama's tax plan goes through. Of course that's a big IF anyway. No one can predict the future of our economy as Capitalism gasps its' final breaths.
CNN has debunked McCain's claims. Let all small business owners who are spooked by McCain's "Joe the Plumber" image know that chances are - 98% - they will NOT be taxed.
Maybe I should dress as a plumber for Halloween this year, carry a wrench and wear a sign that says "Plumbers for Obama".Let's start a movement.
for the Obama Campaign. The Huffington Post put her in national print yesterday. I hope people will go to her creations because Dani and I really respect her work.
I also hope that you (yes YOU) are doing something to be involved in this election. Dani and I spent time listening to the fine folks of New Mexico this weekend. They were tired of the confusing negative ads. They were very concerned with the economy. I talked to people who leaned toward Obama and those who leaned toward McCain. Many people claimed to be undecided but I am happy to report that not one single person said that they did not plan to vote.
I am going to make a home made low-budget flyer and go door to door asking people to please vote no on proposition 8 in California. If you read this and know anyone in CA, please email and ask them to vote against the proposition. Please do not assume that someone else has made the request. Please do not assume that they already know about it. Many people are confused by the deceptive wording and mega- dollar "Yes" campaign being funded by the Mormon church, Focus on the Family and the Knights of Columbus. They think. "Sure I think the gays can get married if they want. Yes. I'll vote yes." Eeeeek!!
In other news, the Red Sox are getting trounced and I am in some sort of funk limbo (not because of the Sox - but not really helped by the game either.) I feel strangely lonely and ineffective. Home schooling is OK but it takes almost all of my energy and patience. I try to be the good wife and the good mother and I try to do good things in the world but I continue to believe that I am lazy, not good enough and somewhat of a failure.
It feels good to write this because even as I write it, I see how ridiculous it is from a logical standpoint. I do so much. Dani, her mother, and I finished hand embroidering 40 chalice patches for the the Unitarian Universalist "Coming of Age" Kick-Off where I will be a "wisdom circle leader" for a weekend teen retreat in a couple of days. My best friend, Jennifer, and her son Kn, joined Pk, Dani and I for the 10th anniversary of Matthew Shepard's death. The Laramie Project was powerful and poignant. Today I sent a care package off to my kid sister who is dealing with some health issues in the hospital. I spent several hours yesterday with my spunky mother in law, April, after my pre-op appointment in Oakland. What more can I do?
"Quilt. Create. Get lost in art." That is what comes to mind and I grieve that I cannot do it all.
I need expansive time and no distractions if I can really get work done in the studio. I make the priority to put family and teens and church first but it only leaves little chunks of time left over. I filled those with blogging, baseball and baths today. It wasn't THAT satisfying. Alas. How do you get it all done?
My Health and the Stock Market Keeping it in Perspective
Here is a letter I wrote to a friend this morning. It kind of sums it up so I thought I would just reprint it here:
Hey Lis - thanks for asking. It's not like I can't share or don't want to - but, you know, where do I start? It's all one continuous battle to me. The Paraneoplastic Pemphigus has ravaged (to greater and lesser degrees) all areas of soft mucosa (mouth, eyes, vaginal canal, lungs, nose.) No part of those areas of my body is completely healthy although things could be (and have been) much worse. The skin still breaks apart very easily in all areas. The eyes and the mouth are the most painful - right in the face, ya know? Always there and distracting. The treatment of the cancer ravaged my immune system & it's kind of complicated because if I try to boost the immune system, I boost the vehicle that damages the soft mucosa. so. It's a balancing act.
anyhoo - at this point, I am prone to infection and have very few ways to really fight it. I am antibiotic resistant and continue to try the alternative therapies that I can handle. I have had continuous lung and sinus infections for over a year. Probably longer but I lost track. On my most recent CTs, we saw that every available space was filled with infection in my head. My lungs don't look that good either. The oxygen exchange is not functioning properly. But I think if I can deal with the sinus infections, it might help with the lungs.
I have decided to have endoscopic maxillary sinus surgery and ethmidectomy, an endoscopic sphenidotomy and a frontal sinusotomy. All of which means that a nice doctor (recommended by Julie Wolf) is going to break my nose, straighten it out (I have a congenital defect), and then go inside to clean and pack all my sinuses over several days. mmmmm. good times. It doesn't look like a difficult procedure - just painful and exacerbated by the fact that I don't always heal well, am prone to infection and I scar in unpredictable ways. Oh - and my vanity is being tweaked because I love the way my nose looks and don't want it to change. That part is silly, I know.
So - all of this is happening on Oct 24th & the doctor has said that I am not to leave the house for a week - maybe longer. I won't be able to do much really. I dread it. You know me. So by the 1st, I might just well be ready to get out of Dodge & go to Berkeley! We shall see.
I am leery of conspiracy theories. I hate chain letters. I do not, as a rule, consider Chicken Little to be my meteorologist.
But, with that said, I honestly believe that
We are all in trouble.
I have been sleeping. You have been sleeping. But now I am waking up and putting all the crazy pieces together. The economy, the elections, the "conservative agenda", the regulation of press and the deregulation of greed. I have been reading everything I can about the economy for almost a year now. I listened with regretful belief when Amy Goodman described how the press was systematically repressed and detained during the Republican National Convention. I have recently discovered the works of two women, Naomi Wolf and Naomi Klein. They, and so many others, are outlining what has happened and what is likely to happen and what steps we can take to prevent the worst from happening.
Oh - sure - we knew that Reagan's trickle down economics weren't working but we hoped that things would change. We never even realized that Phil Graham slipped in a deregulation bill on the night before the Christmas 2000 Congressional recess that created (now famous) credit default (or swap) derivatives and the shadow economy. If someone had explained it back then- it would have sounded like science fiction. It kind of still does.
Many of us suspected that the Bush / Gore election was a sham and were pissed when Bush lied about weapons of mass destruction. Most of us felt more than a little uneasiness when the Patriot Act was pushed through so quickly after 9/11. We didn't want to go to war but were told that we were either "with us or against us." Maybe we don't have flag magnets on our cars but we don't want to seem like crazy leftist fanatics either. Isn't the ACLU always whining about something? Don't we need to catch the bad guys?
You probably belong to the 73% of Americans who disapprove of George W. but most of us aren't ready to stand up and say what bloggers, economists, politicians and intellectuals are now suggesting:
On October 1, 2008 a coup (or something akin to it) happened and George Bush has taken the final steps to stage what could be called martial law. He has an unregulated treasury at his disposal and a standing army at his disposal (the first armed forces deployed in our own country since the 1800s.) We are told that Bush could conceivably call off the elections and declare martial law. I don't want to believe it. But I think I have to take the threat seriously.
Naomi Wolf interview stating that on October 1, 2008 a coup of the USA took place.
Wake up - tell everyone you know. Follow all the links in this post. Get educated from many sources.
My head is full. Very, very full. Political ideas and financial terminology and major infections are all swimming together in one murky mess. It's a little overwhelming.
I'm catching up on SNL skits (Tina Fey - gotta love her) and on conservative Kathleen Parker's call for Mrs. Palin to step down from the Republican ticket while I anxiously await the VP "debate" tonight. I've also learned about today's new specs on the Senate version of the "bailout" bill (that includes tax exemptions for manufacturers of wooden arrows used by children among other such NONSENSE). But that is all political. The politicians and policies will (eventually) touch me down here on Pain Street but, for now, I can put them aside for more pressing personal issues. Like health and personal finance.
I am especially inspired by the PF blog Savings Not Shoes. I've spent the last year learning about personal finance and the last day reading and compiling everything I learned about personal finances and how it relates to us specifically. (The Motley Fools were my favorite big name site.) Value funds, index funds, Small, Medium and Large Caps, asset allocation, mutual funds and and money markets - I understand them all now. You see, Dani and I had a blow out exchange last week that left us each shaking in our respective corners. It began with a casual statement stemming from my fear of the volatile stock market and ended with me in a puddle of drool and mucus, clinging to the back of the kitchen chair and wondering if NVC was ever going to kick in automatically when the stakes are high.
It was not pretty. Not pretty at all. If you read here regularly, you know how much love we have in our family so fear not - it's all still there. We are made stronger with the challenges. If there is anything that motivates me - it's learning. I am learning how to keep harmony in our house AND how to face financial concepts that used to baffle me.
And speaking of baffling - my health continues the twists and turns of the craziest roller coaster. How I remain as pleasant as I am as often as I do is a COMPLETE mystery. The pain - well - you've heard it all. It sucks. My head is completely FULL of infection. Every cavity is filled. I just scheduled the surgery - with the complicated pre- and post-op appointments and testing and Image guided CT scans. I am going to be spending a LOT of time in Oakland. sigh. More will be revealed.
Thanks for all the good thoughts out there. I need it. But probably my family does too as they are the ones who have to deal with me and help me through it all. I feel like sleeping all the time and just hiding from everything.
R.Redford and P.Newman in "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid"
Paul Newman - Rest in Peace
In a strange twist of fate, our son, Pk, was watching "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" and eating popcorn (which is often Newman's Own) at the exact time that Paul Newman was dying last night. Newman was one of my philanthropic heroes and I have nothing but respect for all the good he did in this world. I have, since he was in utero, sung a lullabye to Pk. In the lyrics of folk singer, Fred Small, is the message by which I try to live my life. I believe Paul Newman must have believed the same thing:
"...The only measure of your words and your deeds will be the love you leave behind when you're done."
His daughter said in a statement today: "Our father was a rare symbol of selfless humility, the last to acknowledge what he was doing was special. Intensely private, he quietly succeeded beyond measure in impacting the lives of so many with his generosity."
Reproduction Rights aren't the only place where the menfolk are making decisions that affect me. There are so many places to pay attention to in politics and the economy that it's enough to make one's head spin. Or - to just bury one's head altogether.
But bury we must not, my friends! (lest we bury the last of our freedoms as well.)
For a prime example of a "we don't need big government" (but government will choose for you when it comes to reproduction) moment, please take a couple minutes to read up on Republican VP Nominee Sarah Palin's stance on reproductive rights and while you are there - check in with running mate McCain. After careful study, I have to admit that Obama's thoughts are apparently similar to mine: pro-choice, anti-abortion, pro-education, pro-health, pro-woman. McCain/Palin have transparently made it part of their plan to repeal Roe v. Wade while Obama/Biden have vowed to uphold the Constitutional Amendment, persevering (if not funding) the right of a woman to make a choice.
Not that I am a single issue voter by any means. I care about foreign policy, marriage equality, the environment, gun control, alternative energy, physician assisted suicide, teen rights and economic and social justice. The above links - should you have a day to study - have all the candidate's views and votes on these issues as well. Or - you could always watch the debates (if they happen.)
Like me? Don't have a television?
There is always My Debates (aka Myspace Debate Channel) with interactive features - weeee!
And don't forget!
Voters have until Tuesday, Oct. 14 to register to vote
in the November presidential general election.
Any U. S. citizen who is 18 years of age on or before Nov. 4, the date of the presidential general election, may register to vote as long as he or she is not incarcerated, on parole or on probation because of a conviction for an indictable offense.
Please please vote and ask your friends to vote. Even if you believe the whole thing is rigged - it's not like it could HURT you to vote!
Please take a moment when you are finished reading my blog to hear this - my - American Prayer. It does not sum up my thoughts but it shows a few factors in the equation.
I would like to have seen a $700 Billion bail-out of the mortgage crisis on behalf of low to moderate income home buyers. I would like to have seen a $700 Billion bail-out of health care industry on behalf of the un and under-insured.
With a $10.6 (now $11.3) Trillion national debt with neither corporations nor our government accountable financially, it is we - you and me - who will pay for this bail-out and I, for one, would liked to have had a say in it.
These are scary times and we must not be complacent.
And speaking of non-complacency: How about the fine folks of Alaska showing up for what some have touted the largest protest rally in the state's history? I posted my favorites in the blog below.
My Dad is a baker on the seas with pirates.
